Dear Diary

Diary Recently, an old friend moved in. He showed up one night, begging for a place to stay. “I promise, its only for the night. You won’t even notice me! I’ll be out by morning.” This is someone I’ve known a long time and I’ve heard this line before. I should have said no and closed the door. Foolishly, I didn’t. It wasn’t long before I realized my mistake. Today turned into tomorrow, which turned into 2 weeks, which turned into a month. Suddenly, I’m stepping over empty pizza boxes, finding foreign hairs in my sink and seeing very weird recommendations in my Netflix queue. What was happening? I tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn’t move. He gave excuse after excuse, me falling for each one.

Who was this guy?

Oh, he’s my old friend, Writer’s Block.
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Goodbye, Wilson.

I’m pretty sure I’m having a mid-life crisis. Not in the traditional “get a bad ankle tattoo and dye my hair blonde” sense…but it’s dangerously close. Continue reading “Goodbye, Wilson.”

It’s Oh So Quiet……..

Let me start this post by offering my humblest, sincerest apologies for my absence. It’s been a while, I know. I’m sure you’ve all be wondering, “What happened to this wonderful, enlightening, insightful blog?? How can I go about my life without reading the nonsense that Marie puts out there??? WHERE WILL I HEAR ABOUT EMBARRASSING TAMPON STORIES?!?!!?!?” Well…….I don’t have a very good excuse, guys. I’d like to say I’ve been waaaaaaaaaaaaay too busy to write, but that would be a lie. I won’t delude myself with that excuse. Sure, work is busy. So what? I don’t run a Fortune 500 company. I don’t have any kids, so I’m definitely not running off to soccer practice, PTA meetings, or weird play dates that require me to sit awkwardly facing another mom, sipping room temperature white wine, nibbling on stale Melba toast and American cheese (it was on sale; brie can be so EXPENSIVE!), barley having the energy to feign interest in the discussion of, “OMG!! I CAN’T wait for the new season of The Good Wife!” No, friends, I don’t have any of those excuses. I have been lazy, and, frankly, not too inspired. I decided today that I’m going to write about just that.

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Six Minutes

Six minutes are nothing in the grand scheme of things. You don’t give a second thought to that small an increment of time. But, I have had six minutes stuck in my head for a month. Why? That was the amount of time I was given to try stand-up for the first time.

I have been toying with the idea of doing stand-up for years. In fact, for my 28th birthday in 2008, one of my best friends gave me an amazing gift. It was a wooden bar stool, a bottle of water, a fake microphone, and brick-style wallpaper that was glued on a pull down window shade. Essentially, it was a travelling comedy club. He had wanted me to practice at home before I went on a stage. I vowed that I would get up on that stage by the end of the year. Then, 2008 came and went. No biggie, I would just do it by the end of 2009. Then it became, “I’ll do it before I hit 30!” Then, I just gave up.

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OkStupid: Why Didn’t You Just Tell Me You’re A Complete Maniac?

True story.

If any of you have read my initial blog post (Catharsis), then you know would know that I am in the process of a divorce. While I’m not hiding this aspect of my life, I’m certainly not making it my defining feature. That being said, I have started to wonder what the world of dating is like now. I haven’t dated anyone since 2003, and things have completely changed since then. There was no Facebook, there was no texting, people still called each other on the phone. There wasn’t even MySpace (I don’t think?). So yeah…its a lot different now.

I decided about a month ago to geeeeeeeeeeeeently ease my toe into the dating pool, just to see what was going on these days. I work 40 hours a week, and I don’t really do the bar scene. Most, if not all, of my friends are married with children, as are all of their friends. So, pickings are slim. There’s really only one other option to meet people at this point: a dating site.

Continue reading “OkStupid: Why Didn’t You Just Tell Me You’re A Complete Maniac?”