Open Letter To The Ticket Counter Lady At The Ferry Terminal

Dear Ferry Ticket Counter Lady:

Whew! That was close! I’m writing this letter to you whilst sitting on the ferry you in no way helped me board.

Thank you for your complete indifference and 0.0 sense of urgency to the line of customers waiting for assistance in getting on this ferry. Your lack of interest to the patrons who pre-paid for this now sold out ferry really helped me feel like I wasn’t going to miss the proverbial (and actual) boat. Continue reading “Open Letter To The Ticket Counter Lady At The Ferry Terminal”

Welcome to the Jungle…You’re Going To Die.

As all four of you who read this blog know, this was the year that I was going to start having adventures and doing things that I don’t normally do. To kick-start this experiment, I started doing stand up. Super fun, awesome time doing that……..but it wasn’t enough. I needed something big, a massive challenge. So, I did what any other normal person would do: I booked a vacation.

Truth: this vacation was actually through a dating website. (No, not OK Cupid. Can you even fucking imagine???). It was through, which is slightly less embarrassing. You see, they have these events, trying to get single people to put the pizza down, get out of their pajamas, and integrate into the terrible, awful, miserable world of dating. I had attended exactly 0.0% of these events locally. However, on this particular day, something caught my eye. I saw an ad for a 9 day vacation to tropical Costa Rica. The price was reasonable, the trip would have a tour guide, and the company wasn’t a scam. The age range was 25-45 (not bad), it was guaranteed to be an appropriate mix of both men and woman (excellent), and we would be traveling to various places in the country. I thought it over for a bit, then said fuck it (!) and booked the trip. This was me, living la vida loca! I envisioned lying on a gorgeous white sand beach, drink in hand, listening to the waves crashing. I would be relaxed, happy, and most likely drunk. Sign me up!

Continue reading “Welcome to the Jungle…You’re Going To Die.”