Weight

It’s taken me a very long time for this concept to sink in.


Weight

I hate this picture.

Weight

My arms/belly/face looks too fat.

Weight

Why did I eat that fourth piece of pizza?

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Don’t Buy Clothes With Zippers, And Other Life Lessons


The other night, I was going out. It was a Saturday, and I decided that I wanted to wear a dress that I had bought. It’s super cute and doesn’t make me look fat (that’s according to my full length mirror placed at the perfect angle. Don’t you dare touch it).  Even though it’s sub-zero out, a girl wants to look nice!

While putting on said dress, I immediately remembered why I shouldn’t have bought it: it has a goddamn zipper. It’s not a whole back zipper, either. It’s one of those halfway up jobs. You know, just far enough that I can get it about 3/4 of the way up. After that, it becomes a yoga routine. I literally had to do stretches to limber up the ol’ muscles to finish. It took me a solid 7 minutes of reaching, swearing, and sweating, but I did it. When it was done (and I reapplied my deodorant), I swore I would never buy another zippered dress again. There was no one there to help me. I very well could have injured myself! Then I would have been at the orthopedic explaining that no, doctor, I didn’t dislocate my shoulder playing a contact sport; I was simply trying to get dressed.

Continue reading “Don’t Buy Clothes With Zippers, And Other Life Lessons”