I Love Me, Who Do You Love?


I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

stuart-smalley

Oh, dear, sweet Stuart…..with your 90’s soccer-mom frosted hair, scratchy cardigan, and lavender polyester shirt. Who knew one day your fictional words of wisdom would be popping into my head as a mantra? That’s exactly what happened to me this morning when I woke up.

This has been, by far, the shittiest, most depressing winter I can remember. The weather has been wretched. Everyone has been trapped inside for months. There has been no break from it. Because the sun is a giant asshole and doesn’t want to anyone to be happy, it’s been a sad and lonely couple of months. On the rare occasion we do see the sun, it’s only doing 50% of its job. It’s shining, but provides 0.0% warmth. Every day, same routine. Wake up. Go to work. Go home. Put on pajamas. Stuff face. Lay on the couch. Think, think, think. I’d love to turn my brain off, but unfortunately, my brain hates me and loves to self-torture.

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They Say That Breaking Up Is Hard To Do….


….and now I know, I know that it’s true.

Today was a not-so-good-pretty-terrible day. No, it’s not because the Patriots lost (although that sucks too, I suppose). I’m sad because I was hit square in the face with the impending reality of my divorce.

In less than 10 days, I will be signing my final divorce papers. I went to my (former) house today to hang out with my dogs, as well as to get the last of my stuff. This is something that I’ve been doing all year, sort of taking my things piece meal. It’s also been my excuse to go back and see those furry fucking goofballs I love so much. But today, I had to get my wedding dress, and I completely lost my shit. Obviously, he doesn’t want to keep the dress there, and I don’t blame him. I have been telling myself that I would take it each time I went, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. However, he asked me to take it today, so I did. I grabbed it out of the closet…..and it’s now sitting in the trunk of my car. I literally CANNOT bring myself to take it out of there today.

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