Let me start this post by offering my humblest, sincerest apologies for my absence. It’s been a while, I know. I’m sure you’ve all be wondering, “What happened to this wonderful, enlightening, insightful blog?? How can I go about my life without reading the nonsense that Marie puts out there??? WHERE WILL I HEAR ABOUT EMBARRASSING TAMPON STORIES?!?!!?!?” Well…….I don’t have a very good excuse, guys. I’d like to say I’ve been waaaaaaaaaaaaay too busy to write, but that would be a lie. I won’t delude myself with that excuse. Sure, work is busy. So what? I don’t run a Fortune 500 company. I don’t have any kids, so I’m definitely not running off to soccer practice, PTA meetings, or weird play dates that require me to sit awkwardly facing another mom, sipping room temperature white wine, nibbling on stale Melba toast and American cheese (it was on sale; brie can be so EXPENSIVE!), barley having the energy to feign interest in the discussion of, “OMG!! I CAN’T wait for the new season of The Good Wife!” No, friends, I don’t have any of those excuses. I have been lazy, and, frankly, not too inspired. I decided today that I’m going to write about just that.
With the advent of the Internet, virtually everything is at our fingertips. Information, pictures, movies, music. You name it, it’s available. What’s even better is that you don’t even have to MOVE to get it. You literally just type away and boom, knowledge/entertainment acquired. I am a complete and ready participant in this, so I’m not casting any judgment; I’m all about the immediate gratification. One would think that in our constant, sensory overload, in-your-face pace of society that you would never run out of inspiration. Well, that’s what I thought, at least. But lately, that hasn’t been the case. In fact, I’ve had the opposite happen. The over saturation of information has made me feel numb. I feel like I’m in a fog, especially creatively. What is so annoying about all of this is that I feel like there’s an idea/solution/something rightthere, but I can’t access it. It’s a nagging feeling I just can’t shake.
Bottom line: I feel like my brain isn’t working as well as it should. My memory isn’t as sharp, things aren’t coming to me so quickly. Overall, I just feel meh. So, I decided that I need to step away from the screens and noise and get back to doing brain-stuff. Like READING. In fact, just today, I won a raffle that included a Kindle and a book that houses four (!) Jane Austen novels. When I saw this raffle basket, I wanted it. Badly. Shockingly, out of about 600+ people, I won it. Sure, there were other baskets that had lottery tickets (would have also been nice), candles (nope), and other lady-themed stuff, but I wanted this one. If I believed in that “Secret” bullshit, I would say I envisioned it, therefore it is so. I totally said, “pick me, pick me” over and over when they were drawing the ticket. We all know that’s a crock of horse shit…..right?
Growing up, all I wanted to do was read. I remember as a kid, one of my neighbors would always want to play school; I wanted to play library. How do you play library? Simple! You just shut up, sit down, and read your book. I was an unapologetic nerd and information sponge. If there was a book for me to read, I was on it. I remember how I could get sucked in for HOURS, just turning the pages away, completely lost in whatever world I was discovering. But then, as I got older, I found myself reading less and less. I would get a book, start it, but then become easily distracted and put it down. I wish I could say these distractions were always worth it, but I can’t. Most of it was watching TV or mindlessly trolling Facebook, TMZ, or whatever else caught my eye. I have become sucked into a vortex of interruptions and I don’t like it.
In an effort to get my brain back on track, I’ve started to make sure I have some “quiet time” at some point during the day. That means, zero self-imposed distractions. Phone is away, TV is off. Just me, myself and I. My goal is to just relax. Read. Write. Look through my coupons on the table (I’m an old lady like that). I want to be able to quiet my brain down. I started doing it the other day, and let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. I kind of felt like a junkie. I can’t tell you how many times I thought to myself, “I should check my phone.” It made me realize just how bad I’ve become. Silence is something that is both treasured and feared; people say they crave it all the time, yet when faced with it, they don’t know what to do. Well, at least me. I’ve gotten so much better over the years, but I still struggle with it. I remember there was a time when I literally could not stand to NOT have the TV on in the background, just to get some sort of noise. Now, I enjoy it. I’m not missing much, really. We’ve become so accustomed to background noise that when it’s gone, we think there’s something wrong. The only thing that’s wrong is our perception. Having no distractions or “noise” makes you focus more. Namely, on yourself. Which is probably why most people avoid it. I know that applies to me, for sure. Having to actually sit down and think about things can be a very hard thing to do. I’m not always my biggest fan……….
I know this post is kind of rambling, kind of unfocused. It was really just a way for me to get writing again and get the ol’ juices flowing. So, I thank you for your time, dear reader. I’m really going to make a concerted effort to get writing again. I enjoy it, and I hope you all enjoy what I put out there for you.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check Facebook.