Ahh, it seems like just yesterday when it happened.
Wait, it was yesterday.
Ok readers, take a seat, grab your popcorn and glass of Faygo soda; I’m going to tell you a story.
Yesterday was shaping up to be a great day for me. Things were going well at work, I didn’t have the urge to murder anyone. It was also that day that my new relationship went public on Facebook. I can already feel your eyes rolling, but just bear with me. Yes, it’s a little corny and teenager-ish. But it’s also exciting!!! It’s kind of thrilling to let people know that, “HEY! SOMEONE LIKES ME AND WANTS IT TO BE KNOWN TO EVERYONE!” So yeah…….I’m a woman and that shit makes me giddy. I’m not embarrassed of it. As soon as it happened, I started getting texts and messages from friends (and of course my mom) wishing me well and how happy they were for me. If you’ve read this blog, then you can understand the shit sandwich I ate for the past year. This was time to celebrate!
Well……..hold your fucking horses. Later that night, while with my brand new-car-smelling boyfriend, I was given some not so exciting news. His ex made a post on Facebook. She posted the screenshot that she apparently took from the page, or someone sent to her. The post included our pictures, and talked about what a low life he is (he’s not), how disrespectful it was (they were broken up and dated for two months), and how she KNEW that something was going on before they broke up with him and I (not true AT ALL). Being the gentleman he is, he took the high road and did not engage with her. I totally agreed; there was no point. She was obviously pissed and getting into it with her wasn’t going to change anything. That was the end of that. Until today.
Today, my friends, is when I found out that there was an all out rant about me, my looks, the type of person I am on said post. I don’t know all of the details, but I know enough to tell you that it was pretty hateful. I was not pleased. We shared a few mutual friends and I talked about it with them. Again, without details, it was confirmed that the rant was terrible, insulting, diminishing, and frankly outright abusive. So, I went through my stages. First, it was disbelief. Then it was outright fucking anger. Who is this person to pass ANY judgment of me and my character?? Then, it was hurt. That’s right, this crusty bitch has feelings. I was hurt that someone would be so low and classless to basically assassinate my character IN A PUBLIC FORUM. I didn’t like it and I still don’t. Luckily, the mutual friends I had did the right thing and stood up for me. Needless to say…….they are no longer mutual friends of this person as they have been defriended and blocked.
Here’s the point of my story. I am well aware that I have a big mouth and say things off the cuff that are many times, inappropriate and can be hurtful to some. It is something that happens, but I never mean to hurt anyone’s feelings intentionally. I have NEVER, (nor would I ever), publicly name someone and put them out like a dead carcass in the desert to be fed on by the vultures.
I’m a big girl and I can handle myself. I’ve never stepped away from standing up for myself, or any of my friends for that matter. But this was different; I was helpless. I’m not friends with this person and can’t see what was said. I have no defense. I just have to sit and know that my name and character was put out into cyberspace to be ripped apart, beaten down, and essentially pissed on by a group of people I do not know. It’s a really frightening feeling, to be honest.
All those stories you hear in the news about kids just being animals to each other and cutting each other down every step of the way are terrible. Obviously, this isn’t high school and I’m not worried about not being accepted by the mean girls. What I am concerned with, however, is the lack of respect that we seem to have for each other at times. I am guilty of it; we all are. It’s not cute behavior and it needs to be changed. Holding yourself with dignity and class will never steer you wrong.
I actually debated on writing this because I asked myself, “Am I doing the same thing here?” However, I decided that it’s not the same thing. I have shared a lot of my experiences on here, and this is no different. I know that this too shall pass; I’m not worried about it. This was just a way for me to get this message out. As my mother used to tell me ALL THE TIME:
It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice
Will I never make fun of anyone again? Absolutely not. It’s part of what I do in my comedy. Will I continue to do what I do and live my life knowing that I’m not this fat, disgusting, slut that was so described online? Yes, I will.