Oh, 2013. What can I say about you? Nothing really too nice, that’s for sure. You’ve been kind of a dick, actually. We started off well enough, but then you changed. Things fell apart. Then they sort of came back together, but in a really half-assed, lets-put-some-Scotch tape-on-it kind of way. Right now we’re in a oooookkkkaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy place, but I’m still not sure you’re done with me. The ball hasn’t dropped yet.
I’ve never really been a big New Year person. Actually, I never think much about it. It’s always been just another day (as Queen Latifah so eloquently sang about) to me. But this year is different. I’m looking forward to 2014 like a junkie looking for another hit, or a fat kid looking for cake. Obviously, the first day of the new year isn’t going to magically change anything for me. In fact, I still have a lot of shit I have to deal with. It’s the idea of a new start that’s making me so anxious for 2014 to get here. I’m finally pulling myself out of this funk and it’s giving me something to look forward to.
Not everything was terrible, though. Here’s some of my highlights (it’s a short list):
1. FRIENDS (new and old) AND FAMILY!!
I know I’ve said it before, but Imma say it again: my friends have been amazing. I’m forever thankful and grateful to everyone and anyone who is a part of my life. You’re awesome. Gold stars all around! I’ll never be able to repay all the wonderful things that you all have done for me; I’ll never forget any of it.
So, it was sort of a shitty way to get it, but I’m glad I have it now. I realized this year that I have never lived on my own, and the initial thought of it was both terrifying and exciting. It was not easy by any means, and there are still moments that are super hard. However, knowing that I only have myself to report to is an awesome feeling. I can do what I want, when I want! That, and I don’t have to wear pants when I’m watching TV/eating dinner/combination of both if I don’t want to. And yes, that happens frequently. Don’t judge.
3. SELF REFLECTION!!
Who doesn’t love this?? Huh?? Amirite??
No one does. It fucking sucks. I’d rather drink gasoline than actually have to look at myself and deal with my issues. But, seeing that the gas prices are still so goddamn high (in this economy!!), I had to do it. I’ve learned a lot about myself: I don’t always think before I act, I don’t give myself enough credit, I’m too hard on myself, and I don’t always say what I mean. I’m actually a very sensitive person (I’ll wait for you to compose yourself. It’s ok), and I have the tendency to put myself and my feelings at the bottom of the list. I’m working on this in particular. It’s my hope that I will be a complete narcissistic douche by year-end!
2013 can just get the fuck out of here, that’s for sure. It’s been a mostly heartbreaking year with some happy moments sprinkled in. So, at midnight, I will be toasting the shit out of the new year and hoping for great things to come. Then, on January 1st, I will be laying on my couch, sans pants, watching the Twilight Zone marathon and eating pizza.
And I will be happy.