I’ve recently started re-reading my Calvin and Hobbes books. If you’ve never read any of them, log off of your computer and go to the nearest bookstore. It doesn’t matter which book you get; they’re all amazing. And no, don’t buy it on a Kindle/Nook/whatever. You need to have the book in your hands, flipping the pages. It’s all part of the experience.
Reading through one of the books today, I stumbled on this strip. To me, it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. The absurdity of it is genius. I’ve never been to Pittsburg, but Sienna Miller once referred to it as Shitsburg. That’s good enough for me. The other thing that came to mind was a story of my father, and his advice for nuclear war.
Anyone that knew my father knows this: he was kind of insane, in the non-dangerous way. He had a wicked sense of humor, had gum/candy on his person at all times, and always had some sort of fun fact ready for you. Because of the latter, a lot of people referred to him as Cliff Clavin. That, and he kind of looked like him.
So one night, a friend and I were hanging out at my house. Per usual, my father was sitting in his armchair in the living room, watching CNN. We were talking and kind of watching the news, when a story about a nuclear threat came on. I don’t remember the details, but the story got us on the subject of nuclear war. My father asked my friend and I this question: Where would we go if you could escape it? I answered Switzerland (they don’t get involved in that shit). I think my friend said Canada (North America’s version of Switzerland). My father: New Jersey. He was dead serious. After my friend and I regained our composure, I asked him: why the fuck New Jersey?? Answer: he had never really been there, so why not?
In essence, my father was Hobbes. Maybe he was right; why not? Maybe New Jersey would be an excellent place to go. I mean, the place already has some levels of toxic waste (see: Jersey Shore), so how bad could it be?
I’m glad that the nuclear threat didn’t go forward. However, every time I hear about one on the news, I always think of this conversation. I hope we never experience a nuclear fall out, but if shit goes down, I’m grabbing my bag and heading to Jersey.