Posted in Just Stop It., Life

Your A Dummy.


You: “The title of your post is wrong.”

Me: “You’re an asshole.”

See? THAT’S the correct way to use your and you’re, kids! “Your” is used as a possessive adjective, while “you’re” is a contraction of “you” and “are”!

I bet some of you read that title and didn’t think much of it. Others probably wanted to scream. I know I would. I decided to write this post after seeing this picture on Facebook:

grammar

When I read the cover, I simultaneously laughed and cringed. I have to admit, grammatical errors are one of my biggest pet peeves. While I’m certainly not exempt from making writing errors, I like to think I know the basics. Sure, we don’t all walk around speaking the King’s English all day. But people, let’s make an effort, especially if you’re writing communications at work. I mean, come on. If you’re sending a mass email, know your shit. Or at least get as close as possible.

While we’re on the topic of emails, here’s a few other things that can potentially make you look like an idiot.

1. Stationery

Holy shit, this is the absolute WORST of them all. People that use stationery are typically the moms of the office. There is zero place for this at work. It’s annoying enough I have to read your emails, but to actually write it over paw prints, or flowers blooming, makes me want to punch you. I can’t read it and you’ve wasted time I could have spent shopping on Amazon.

EMAIL

2. Comic Sans as your default font

If you’re using this, you’re probably also using stationery. Yes, it’s cute and light and irreverent, but it’s not for the office. You look like a child and no one will take you seriously. Your husband/wife will hate you and you will die alone.

3. Using a colored font

Question: is it acceptable to call it colored font? Anyway, the point is, if you’re using a color like electric blue, red, or green in your emails, you look like a dummy. Stop it. It’s annoying to read and I’m not taking you seriously.

4. Inspirational quotes

Please, please, PLEASE spare me the quotes about teamwork, how to be a better person, or how to find happiness. This isn’t high school, it’s not your (see? there it is again!) yearbook, and it’s just going to piss me off. No one gives a shit, you’re probably not living to the quote’s standard anyway, so lose it.

5. Signature lines that remind me to “Save the planet! Think before you print!”

Don’t tell me what to do. The more I see this, the more I want to print it. I find that the people who have this in their signatures also write in various colors.

I’m sure that some of the people reading this may be offenders. You’re probably a good person, just a little misguided. I’m sure that I’ve probably broken a few grammatical rules myself, but I don’t really kare.

Author:

I write this blog to (over) share the good, bad, and absurd with the masses. You can also find me performing stand-up comedy. Or….eating pizza.

4 thoughts on “Your A Dummy.

  1. This should be part of EVERY orientation package at every professional office in the world. But you left out the reminder to NOT hit “reply all” for every inane “yep” and “gotcha.”

    Like

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