Facebook is Not Your Doctor’s Office.

I think you know where I’m going with this one. Flu season is fast approaching, so I’m taking proactive measures.

It’s always the same people that do it. You know who you are.

I don’t care if you have a migraine. I don’t care if you haven’t slept in 3 days. I don’t care if you have a cold or the flu. And I definitely don’t care if you are shitting and/or puking all day and night. This goes for your kids, too.

When did the news feed become the virtual ER waiting room? Sure, the status box says “What’s on your mind?”. It’s an innocuous question that begs an answer. However, let’s put it into context, shall we? If I were to approach any one of my “friends” in person and asked that same question, would I really get the responses that are oft posted? No. I wouldn’t. You know why? Because when you’re talking to someone in person, you would have some fucking decorum and social etiquette. I certainty wouldn’t expect you to tell me all about your food poisoning experience, and how you had been up all night shitting your pants. So what makes people think that I want to read about it on Facebook? The fact that you’re writing it for the world to read isn’t going to cure your ailments.

I’m not sure when it happened, but I’m guessing in the past few years. My friends are getting older, married off, parenting. I get it; we’re not out living it up like we used it. But Jesus Christ, when did people completely bypass the middle part of their life and go straight into geriatric? Maybe it’s me and I’m expecting too much. I just want to laugh. Facebook shouldn’t require much thinking, in my opinion. I don’t want to read about your health issues. I’m sure there are people out there that would say “Marie, you post dumb shit all the time.” And they would be right. But at least it’s entertaining (to me).

As stated above, this goes for your kids, too. Not interested. Yes, they’re all adorable*, God’s children, blah, blah. I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate knowing that you’re talking about their gross diaper rashes, ear/sinus infections, Scarlet fever, rickets, consumption, or any other weird diseases they get.

So, let’s try to keep the air clean and keep your ailments to yourselves.  Your friends thank you in advance!

*Some kids are not adorable.

Author: Marie Forster

I write this blog to (over) share the good, bad, and absurd with the masses. You can also find me performing stand-up comedy. Or….eating pizza.

2 thoughts on “Facebook is Not Your Doctor’s Office.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s