I think my phone is depressed.

Actually, I’m pretty sure of it. It’s been a strange few days for that guy. I have about 800+ songs downloaded on my phone and keep it on shuffle, especially  when I’m in my car. Up until now, I’ve hardly ever gotten the same song or artist twice. But for the past two days, that’s changed. I have had Grant Lee Buffalo show up not once, not twice, but three fucking times. If you’re not familiar with his music, here’s a warning: it’s beautiful, haunting, and generally makes you want to curl up on a floor for a week. Not exactly what you would call “upbeat”. Ironically, the song that keeps coming up is “Happiness”. Oh, how hilarious. Here’s the lyrics to the first and second verse:

Nevermind me ’cause I’ve been dead
Out of my body been out of my head
Nevermind the songs they hum
Don’t want to sing along
There’s nothin’ that I said

That’ll bring you happiness, happiness
Is hard to come by I confess
I’m bad at this thing happiness
If you find it share it with the rest of us

You get the gist.

I was on the highway when this came on. I couldn’t hit that skip button fast enough. But my phone apparently wasn’t done with me because the next song that came up was Tori Amos’s super fun song, “Crucify”. I mean, really. Did something happen to my phone that I’m not aware of? Was it was touched inappropriately? Did it get dumped? Maybe it has its period? Maybe this is my phone’s way of trying to reach out to an adult it trusts. But what the FUCK with the depressing songs. It’s acting like some 15-year-old emo girl.

We’ll see what happens today. I think I need to have a serious sit down with my phone and figure out what happened to it. It’s clearly been hanging around with the wrong people, and I’m going to be deleting some of those people ASAP.

Author: Marie Forster

I write this blog to (over) share the good, bad, and absurd with the masses. You can also find me performing stand-up comedy. Or….eating pizza.

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